Senin, 30 Juni 2014
Senin, 23 Juni 2014
A new investor had just come in to see a famous stockbroker joke
A new investor had just come in to see a famous stockbroker. "Can you tell me how much you charge?" said the investor. "Of course," the stockbroker replied, "I charge $500 to answer three questions!" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" "Yes it is," said the stockbroker, "And what's your third question?"
The Value of a Policy funny joke
The Value of a Policy
"Do you know the present value of your husband's policy?" the life insurance salesman asked his client.
"What do you mean?" countered the woman.
"If you should lose your husband, what would you get?" asked the salesman.
The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, "Probably a poodle."
Management student kisses a girl funny joke
Management student kisses a girl.
Girl: Whats this?
Boy: Its called DIRECT MARKETING.
(Girl slaps the boy)
Boy: What is this?
Girl: This is CUSTOMER FEED BACK.
Barn Insurance funny jokes
Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."
Minggu, 22 Juni 2014
Jumat, 20 Juni 2014
Landlord funny Joke
“Sir you have got to help!” said the tearful man at the door. “There is a family that I know very well that is in desperate need of money. The Father has been out of a job for over a year, they have five kids at home with barely a bit of food to eat. The worst part is, that they are about to kicked out of the house and they will be left on the streets without a roof over their heads!” The man concluded with one last heart wrenching sob.
“Well,” said the man at the door, “that really is a sad story. Why don’t you come inside and we’ll talk about it a little more.”
“So how much money is needed exactly?” asked the man when they were both seated.
“Oh it’s really terrible”, said the man starting up again, “why just for the rent $3000 is needed by tomorrow otherwise they’ll be kicked out onto the streets.”
“How do you know so much about this situation?” asked the man as he reached for his check book.
“Well,” said the man breaking down once more “they are my tenants.”
5 Best Quotes for Life
Perseverance is not a long race it is many short races one after another.
- Walter Elliott
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology… the study of milkmen.
- Steven Wright
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.
- Les Brown
We have been friends together In sunshine and in shade.
- Caroline Sheridan
School is like a lollipop. It sucks until it is gone.
- Anonymous
Zookeeper three boys and lion
A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lion’s cage and asks them their names and what they’re up to.
The first boy says, “My name’s Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”
The second boy says, “My name’s Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”
The third boy says, “My name is Peanuts.”
Forever … U & Me poem
Wantd 2 write smthg 4 u ..
Kpt on thinkg wat 2 do ??
Neithr v hv known long ..
Nor did v tok oftn
Bt does tat mattr !!
Hw mch I lv u <3
Isn’t really a wondr
Ystday or tomorw,, whr evr,, far away ..
Thr in my heart,, beby u’l stay
Sm relatns do grow ovr tym ..
Ours is bit excptn ~ indeed spcl :*
Ur swtness worth millions of dime !!
Who cares hw lil v wre togthr :/
No questn no doubt u’r alwz myn
Lik a mirage in desrt <3
Ur wrds touchd me swthrt
Distnc nd tym may tk dre ride :’(
Wteva happns ,, nw n forevar ..
U wl find me by ur side
Investment counselor funny
An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?" asked the investment counselor.
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."
Engineering in Hell funny
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."
"Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!"
God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."
Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."
God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."
Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Secret of Women's young age
One lady is telling to a girl, “Do you know what is the secret of being young?
The girl told, “May be take care of skin.“
The lady told, “No, the secret of being young is sleep the right numbers of hours, go with the right crowed, eat right food and tell the WRONG AGE.”
The Honest Lawyer? Funny Jokes
The city miser was on his death bed, as his last request he asked to be alone with his lawyer, doctor, and priest. “I know I am going to die” he said ” and I would like to take my money with me, so I am going to give each of you $150,000 and I want you to each make sure the money gets in the coffin.”
It was a few days after the funeral when the priest over flowing with guilt finally confided to the other two that he only put $100,000 back. “I’m glad you brought it up” said the doctor, “because I have also been feeling guilty, I only put $80,000 back.”
“You people should be ashamed of yourselves” stormed the lawyer “stealing money like that, am I the only honest person here? Here look at this” he said pulling out his check book, “look I wrote out a check for the full $150,000!”
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